That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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