some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
