if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.