so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
