Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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