I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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