He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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