Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
