So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
