He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
