Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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