Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
