they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
