If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
