How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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