Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we made out on top of his cat.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize