I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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