she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
