do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You have to summon your inner elephant
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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