I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
