He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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