He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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