I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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