using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.