I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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