Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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