Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
