If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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