All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
