Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
