I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize