i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
