Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my being single is dangerous.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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