Plan B is the new Plan A
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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