I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize