It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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