idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
