I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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