u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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