Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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