One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i drank out of a bidet.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
