I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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