thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
