Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize