wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
