He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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