I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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