You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
