Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
