One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
