Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
