so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
