he thought i was a dude.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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