Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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