So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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