I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I need moral support for this bender
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
