i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
