were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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