thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
