i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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