im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
