You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have fence marks all over my body
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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