My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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