I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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