Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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