trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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