You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
