She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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