Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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